Une fois n »est pas coutume aujourd »hui c »est moi, Cacahuète le chat de votre hôtesse, qui prend la plume (Plume? Oiseau? Où ça?).
La semaine dernière vous avez du lire, pour certains d »entre vous, sur Facebook la détresse de ma maîtresse, paniquée de ma disparition suite à une bagarre. Comme nombre d »entre vous se sont inquiétés, je viens vous donner des nouvelles du front.
Mercredi dernier, alors que la journée s »annonçait belle (les petites mésanges étaient en train de manger dans le pommier juste devant mon nez), je me suis retrouvé au coeur d »une rixe sanglante et d »une violence inimaginable (si, si). Malgré mes appels désespérés, les 2 machins qui me servent de maîtres n »ont pas répondu, j »ai donc adopté une solution de repli (comme dans toute bataille) et je suis allé me planquer dans un lieu secret, uniquement connu de moi-même.
Si j »en crois les 2 autres, ils se sont inquiétés toute la journée de ne pas me voir, étaient tout flippés et tout et tout… Et moi donc, l »ennemi rôdait!!!
J »ai donc profité que la nuit tombait et que, comme tout le monde le sait, les chats deviennent gris pour rentrer cahin-caha à la base, handicapé par une lourde blessure. Je vous dis pas leurs têtes quand je suis réapparu, tel un disparu de longue date!
Mais là, j »étais à bout, je boitais comme un pauvre vieux, je suis donc allé me coucher sans manger (et c »est assez rare pour être souligné)…
Le lendemain, les stigmates de cette lutte acharnée se faisaient ressentir de plus belle… je ne pouvais plus me lever, ni manger… j »ai cru que l »ennemi m »avait vaincu.
Ma maîtresse, n »écoutant que son courage, a donc pris rendez-vous chez
le bourreau le véto et, après une lutte sans merci (qui l »a vu gagner cette traîtresse), nous sommes partis à l »abattoir.
Dans la salle de consultation, j »ai cru l »espace d »un instant revoir l »ennemi lorsqu »il a touché ma patte! Du coup, je l »ai mordu! Victoire! (Mais non, ce n »était qu »un pauvre vétérinaire qui tentait de faire son travail en se massant désespérément la main… mais il ne l »avait pas volé celle-là!)
Bref, j »ai cru qu »on allait parler amputation vu le mal de
chien chat que je ressentais à ce moment-là… mais non ce n »était qu »un « abcès »… Quoi? Vous êtes sûr? Après cette bataille terrible avec l »ennemi, je n »ai qu »un « abcès »? Même pas de patte cassée, d »infection grave? (Serais-je une chochotte, en fait?)
Nous sommes donc rentrés, ma maîtresse m »a interdit de sortir et depuis, elle me poursuit 2 fois par jour avec des médicaments (et pour le moment, elle arrive toujours à me les enfiler de force dans le gosier la bougresse…). Bon, j »avoue, les premiers jours, j »ai bien profité de la situation en boitant, ne me levant pas et profitant de tous les câlins à disposition (et ça c »était trop cooooool)…
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa, je souffre!!!
La phase de rémission est arrivée, je suis de nouveau sur pattes,
je refais des conneries je cours partout… bref j »ai la patate!!! J »ai voulu sortir un soir où je n »avais pas la permission de minuit, ils s »y sont mis à 2 pour me l »interdire! Depuis, j »ai le droit il paraît. Mais dès qu »ils m »ouvrent la porte, je cours en sens inverse pour les emm… pour les enquiquiner. Si ça c »est pas la preuve que le guerrier est de retour, je ne jure plus de rien!!! 😉
Je voulais vous dire merci de vous être inquiétés, vous êtes tous super choux, mais je suis un mec ultra-résistant qui n »a peur de rien (sauf de son ombre)!!! Je vous fais des tas de ronrons pour vous dire merci, du coup!
Bon, j »vous laisse la revoilà, l »autre, avec ses médocs… Tous aux abris!!!
PS : message personnel à Filou. je compatis mon vieux avec l »arrivée de ton mini-humain… on vit vraiment des vies de dingues! Les tranchées à côtés, c »est peanuts (haha, elle est bonne celle-là, non? Peanuts… Cacahuète… Non, elle ne vous fait pas marrer?)!
Ah oui et ma maîtresse me dit de vous dire que jusque demain minuit vous pouvez toujours gagner un exemplaire du magazine Un Joli Conte!
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